Tuesday, March 1, 2011

One week back

I've spent most of my time since I've been back trying to reestablish some sort of normal sleep schedule and sorting through many, many pictures.  Many people have asked how many pictures I took, and the answer is right around 5,000.  Needless to say, I have my work cut out for me.

I've also been trying to reflect on all of the places I went and things I did, and it's fairly overwhelming.  Going through the photos only reminds me of more things that I had temporarily forgotten.  This is especially the case since I was on the move so much.  In case you're curious about all of the various means of transportation that go into a 2 month whirlwind tour Down Under (and for some reason I was), I kept a highly non-scientific tally, which breaks down as follows:

Bus = 32
Van/shuttle = 25
Boat = 20
   Catamaran = 5
   Ferry = 5
   Other = 10
Plane = 14
Train = 10
Taxi = 10
Car = 4
   Driven by me = 2
   Driven by others = 2
Skybucket/gondola = 4
Parasail = 1
Zorb = 1
Buggy = 1
Tram = 1
Balloon = 1
Bicycle = 1
Harley = 1

And now that I've been back in New York for one week, I have to admit that I've never had this hard of a time adjusting back to "real life" after one of my trips.  Part of it is the time difference and the jet lag (which has been completely killing me), but there is another substantial part of it that is a struggle to slip back into my old life.  It has been a week full of variations on the question "why am I here?"  Also significant is that this past week I passed the six month anniversary of leaving my job.  So, lots and lots of questions to ponder.

At least preliminarily I quickly came to the realization that I don't want to just slip back into my old life.  There are certainly things that I missed, mostly people, and those things make me happy to be back.  But there are also many aspects of "reality" that I didn't miss.  So the question naturally arises whether I can realistically begin to cut those things out.

Which brings me to the first goal I am setting for myself - decluttering my life.  I think back to that day in the Outback when I realized that I was happy, and what stands out to me above all else is that everything just seemed simple.  While that day seems 10 million miles away (as opposed to merely 10,000 miles away), I want to try to keep that feeling with me.  I want my life to be simpler.

How to accomplish that, especially in a place like New York, is the big question.  I used to always judge my feelings about being home on how I felt when I first saw the New York skyline upon returning.  For many years the sight of the skyline warmed my heart.  In some of the darker times it made me miserable because all that I could see was the office that I had to trudge back into the next day.  But this time was different.  It was neither one of those feelings.  I landed just before sunset on a clear day, and the city was quite honestly glittering and beautiful.  But it didn't look real to me.  It looked like some perfect miniature model of the city sparkling in the sunlight, but I was entirely outside it.  I'm still not sure what any of that means in the bigger picture, but I think I need to figure it out.

The one thing I know for certain is that I am happy and blessed to have a lot of good friends here.  Many have gone out of their way in the last week to make time to catch up with me and listen to me ramble on about my trip and my difficulty transitioning back, and it has made all the difference.  I know how busy life can be, and quality time with friends is something that I cherish.  You all know who you are, and I hope that I can return the favor when you need it.

And now on to figuring out the answers to life's big questions....